One day...

One day I'll bring my cricket bat to work. I'll keep it under my desk, until one of the EVIL CONTRAPTIONS that it is my misfortune to herd misbehaves, again. Then I'll take the cricket bat, and walk down to the computer room, and I'll gently open the door to the cabinet the EVIL CONTRAPTION is in, and I'll tear it out of there and beat it into a small heap of torn metal, plastic and ceramics. And when there is no more EVIL CONTRAPTION but just a pile of debris, I will feel better. Oh yes.